Friday, January 15, 2010

Jealousy issues

I think it is so sad when people get jealous over the stupidest things. Take affairs for instance; this is what I have to say. If your husband or wife is going to have an affair there is nothing you could do about it. You can't prevent it so stop stressing over it. Not to mention that stressing about it doesn't get anyone anywhere. Nagging about it isn't going to change the situation either. Seriously why in the world is it necessary to treat someone like they are dirt? It's not right to think that everyone is out to get your spouse. I mean that has to be the stupidest thing ever!!!! I don't think that just because someone works with all men or all women means something’s going to happen. If someone really wanted your spouse they would have done it already. If nothing like that has happened it doesn't mean that it will. Of course it may not mean that it won't. I think being that jealous is down right ridiculous and petty. Someone that is like that sure has really low self-esteem. Here are a few facts and tips for you.
Fact # 1: A marriage is built on trust. Without it there is no marriage. I know I could not stay in a marriage with someone who didn't trust me. I also couldn't stay in a marriage where I didn't trust my husband either.
Fact # 2: Communication is the key in all marriages. If you can't talk to your spouse without criticism your spouse should leave you. I would!!!!
Fact # 3: Always tell your spouse that you love them everyday. Kiss them before they leave the house everyday. Hug them at least once everyday. Why? Life is short and you don't know what could happen.
Fact # 4: Plan a date night. This doesn't mean you have to go anywhere. Although sometimes, going out is not a bad idea. Take one night, spend it together just with each other, and no one else.
Fact # 5: Have sex more than once a month. This helps your love life. It should not be a chore. I should be something you look forward to. Guess what? It also relieves stress and burns 60 calories. I'm not kidding about the calories.
Fact # 6: If your spouse is spending a lot of time with some one of the opposite sex they probably are having an affair. Now this has to be outside of work or group activities. The two need to be alone together a lot. If you’re a girl who has guy friends you should never spend more time with them than your spouse or boyfriend. This also goes for guys too. It sends a wrong message to the party you are spending a lot of time with. Not to mention it's just wrong especially if you’re married. If you’re going to spend time with a friend of the opposite sex keep it to a minimum. If you’re married it's not a good idea to do it at all. Find group activities to do with this person instead. That's better in a married relationship. It prevents things from going to far even if you don't mean for them to.
Fact # 7: Respect one another. Okay if I have to explain this one then you need some serious help. Duh, don't talk to your spouse like a dog, don't accuse them of doing everything wrong, and the list can go on. Your spouse is a human being. Be considerate.
Fact # 8: Being obsessive will drive your spouse away. I don't think I would stay in a marriage where someone called, texted, or e-mailed me constantly about being with someone else. I know I can't handle someone who couldn't make up their mind what they wanted from me. I definitely cannot handle someone accusing me the same thing everyday. I would go completely and utterly insane.
Fiction # 1: Friendship is not anything more than what Webster's dictionary says it is. Saying that a friendship consists of intimacy and sex is hogwash. That is not a friendship. Yeah, I know about the friends with benefits thing but that in itself is more than a friendship too. Hate to break it to the people who have the friends with benefits but its true. Sorry friends with benefits but your in a relationship. It may not be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship however it's still more than just friends. Once you’re sexually intimate with each other you have created a relationship beyond friendship no matter what the understanding is.
Fiction # 2: If your husband is shy and quiet doesn't mean he's up to no good. This is true even if your husband prefers to be by himself a lot. For my husband I know that this is especially true. He had a horrible step-father who made it a mission to close my husband off to anyone and everyone. For him I know it's a life he has a hard time forgetting. Shoot, I encourage my husband to go out with his friends. There have been several times I had to talk him into it because he couldn't make up his mind. I just finally told him "You go and have a good time." I like him better now that he has buddies to hand out with. He seems happier. I say that because he's less grumpy.
Fiction # 3: Just because your spouse likes freaky stuff in the bedroom doesn't make them sick, twisted, or mean that they are having an affair. Some people like to do different things within their sex life. Some like to be spanked. There are those that like to be domineering. Either way you like it, it's good to have variety. It spices up the bedroom. Having sex the same way every time gets old after a while.
Fiction # 4: Therapy doesn't help. Yes it does. If you don't have insurance to pay for it, read Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus. I've read this book and it gives great and true things about the opposite sex. There are many other books about love and marriage out there. I challenge a spouse to take the love dare. If you don't know what that is watch the movie "Fireproof". It's a good movie. If you want a marriage to last you have to do something to keep it flowing smoothly.
Fiction # 5: Having faith is crap. That is complete bologna!!!! It doesn't necessarily need to be God. Just having some kind of spiritual something to share together is important. Here you will have something in common and you spend quality time together. My husband and I are Christians. I know that this has strengthened our marriage greatly. So, whatever you believe in share it together. That is the most important part.
Fiction # 6: Having children ruins the sex life. You know what? You do that all by yourself. It has nothing to do with having kids. You make the choice to have sex with your spouse or not. Think about it. You two have your own room separate from the kids. You can lock your door. You can have sex when they're in their beds asleep. There aren't very many excuses here. Even better still is when the kids are at grandma's or wherever. Heck, this is the best time to have all the sex you can. If you find excuses not to have sex with your spouse all the time there's a problem. Always, always, always make time for sex and intimacy. It is vital in all serious relationships.
Okay so I could probably say more but my co-worker says I shouldn't make this a novel. I guess I'll stop here. Besides I can't think of anything else anyway.
I want to add one last thing. Just love your spouse. Say it and show it as often as possible. There is nothing more important than that. If you can't do that then you don't need to be married at all.

No comments:

Post a Comment